Saying Goodbye, Funerals & Related Resources
Funerals ~ Funeral Needs ~ Poems ~ Songs
Your baby can have a funeral if that is what you choose to do and it does not matter at what stage of pregnancy baby passed away, the circumstances or if it happened at home or hospital. It is not a legal requirement to have a funeral before 24 weeks gestation but you have the same options in doing so. Many hospitals will arrange and cover cost of a baby’s funeral if they were born sleeping and you may be able to attend a ceremony arranged for the families of babies who have passed away if you should choose to. You will probably not be able to make the personal choices if you were arranging it yourself, but this maybe what you would prefer.
You do always have the choice to arrange the funeral yourself. Your bereavement midwife may recommend a funeral director that they use or you can contact a funeral director yourself. Some funeral directors will offer a free or reduced rate package for babies. The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help with funeral costs from 24 weeks gestation to 18 years of age . We are working on gathering as much information as we can to help you navigate the unimaginable task of arranging your baby’s funeral and below you can find a list of links which we hope will help you.
Special Care Cremations – offers parents of miscarried, still-birth or terminated babies funeral choices (costs listed on site)
SANDS – the charity has comprehensive leaflet discussing funerals (including babies who passed away before 24 weeks)
Funeral Needs For Your Baby
If you chose to have a funeral or make other arrangements to say goodbye to baby you may wish to chose blankets, clothing or gifts to go with baby. You may also decide to shop for your own casket or urn. Some hospitals will have beautiful gifted items for your baby. We are compiling a list of some places that sell such items including the tiniest of clothing for babies born from 16 weeks and blankets and pouches suitable for babies before 16 weeks.
Heaven & Hope – Tiny Clothing, Blankets, Pouches, Accessories, Caskets and Cards. We can personally recommend this amazing site.
Cherished Urns – Cremation urns and scatter tubes.
Funeral Order Of Service Templates – A funeral director will often do the order of service for you, but if you decide to do it for yourself or get a friend to there are free templates available on line. Template.net has a good range of templates as well as templates for other funeral related stationery.
You may want a special poem to be read at your babies funeral or to write in a card. We are compling a list of lovely poems which maybe appropriate.
Little Snowdrop by Author Unknown
“The world may never notice If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
For every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.”
A butterfly lights beside us
A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a
brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world:
but then it flies again. And though we wish it could
have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it.
Look for me in Rainbows
Time for me to go now, I won’t say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.
In the morning sunrise when all the world is new,
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.
Time for me to leave you, I won’t say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.
In the evening sunset, when all the world is through,
Just look for me and love me, and I’ll be close to you.
It won’t be forever, the day will come and then
My loving arms will hold you, when we meet again.
Time for us to part now, we won’t say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.
Every waking moment, and all your whole life through
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.
Just wish me to be near you,
And I’ll be there with you.
Music and lyrics: Conn Bernard
These are my footprints
These are my footprints, so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints, never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint, for now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints, in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angels tears, of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints, in each butterflies’ lazy dance.
I’ll let you know I’m with you, if you give me just a chance.
You will see my tiny footprints, in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints, are found in mummy’s heart,
’cause even though I’m gone now, we’ll never truly part.”
Choosing a song for your baby’s funeral can often be difficult. It can be hard to find something that seems meaningful, but the song you choose could simply be one that reminds you of your time together or one that you simply think is beautiful. Also everyone’s taste is different. Below you will find a list of songs people chose for their babies funerals (you can search and listen to them on youtube as well as searching google for lyrics).
Johannes Brahms – Lullaby
Tori Amos – 1000 Oceans
Christina Perri – A Thousand Years
Ed Sheeran – Small Bump
Karen Taylor-Good – Precious Child
Dani and Lizzy – Dancing In The Sky
Craig Cardiff – Smallest Wingless
Eva Cassidy – Over The Rainbow
Judy Garland – Over The Rainbow
Israel Kamakawiwo’ole – Over The Rainbow
Daughtry – Gone Too Soon
Claude Debussy – Clair De Lune
Carrie Underwood – See You Again
Sarah McLachlan – In The Arms Of An Angel
Hayley Westenra – Amazing Grace
Coby Grant – Winter Bear
Ellie Goulding – How Long Will I Love You
Ludovico Einaudi – Nuvole Bianche